This content originally appeared on DEV Community and was authored by Mikhail Dorokhovich
Ask any adult who they are, and chances are their first answer will be their profession. "I'm a doctor." "I'm a programmer." "I'm an entrepreneur." Not "I'm a father," not "I'm someone who loves mountains," not "I'm someone searching for meaning." Work. Job title. Career.
This isn't accidental. The average person spends about 90,000 hours at work over their lifetime—more than a third of all waking hours. More than with family. More than on hobbies, travel, and rest combined. We don't just work—we live at work. And it would be naive to think such immersion leaves no trace.
Career teaches us to handle pressure and forms habits of avoiding conflict. It gives us confidence—and plants the seeds of impostor syndrome. It opens doors to new social circles—and cuts us off from old friends. It provides a sense of purpose in the morning—and empties us by Friday evening.
In this article, we'll explore exactly how a professional path shapes a person: their character, relationships, health, and self-perception. Not to demonize work or celebrate its cult. But to see this process clearly—and perhaps begin to manage it consciously, rather than being its hostage.
1. The Forge of Identity: When "What You Do" Becomes "Who You Are"
A party, a new acquaintance, exchanging pleasantries—and the inevitable question: "What do you do?" Not "what excites you," not "what do you think about before sleep." Profession. Because in the modern world, this is the fastest way to "read" a person: their education, income, ambitions, social class. In one word—their place in the hierarchy. Philosopher Alain de Botton in his book Status Anxiety (2004) accurately described this phenomenon: we live in a society where respect must be earned—and work has become the primary measure.
And we've internalized this. So deeply that profession has ceased to be what we do and has become who we are. Psychologists call this "professional identity"—when the boundary between work and personality blurs into indistinguishability. Success at work = I'm good. Project failure = I'm a failure. Not the project failed—I failed. A 2023 study showed that more than 50% of IT professionals experience "impostor syndrome"—the paradoxical feeling that you don't deserve your position, despite objective achievements.
This fusion is fueled by career hierarchy, which permeates everything: from office size to seat placement at meetings. Positions form a ladder, and everyone knows their rung. Junior looks at mid-level, mid-level at senior, senior at director. And all together—at those who "made it": founded a company, went public, made it to Forbes.
From this emerges an unspoken but exhausting competition. We compare ourselves to classmates: who works where, who earns how much, who has the louder title. LinkedIn has become a showcase of achievements, where every promotion post is a small jab for those who are "stuck." The LinkedIn vs Reality meme (where the left shows an inspiring post about a "new exciting journey" and the right shows a person in pajamas googling "how to stop hating your job") went viral for a reason: it hit a nerve. Research confirms: social networks amplify social comparison and can trigger anxiety.
This race is rarely acknowledged but almost always felt: a slight anxiety at others' successes, a vague feeling that you're falling behind. Career becomes a mirror in which we seek confirmation of our own worth. And this mirror can both elevate and mercilessly destroy—depending on what it reflects today.
2. The Formative Years: How First Career Steps Shape Character
Remember your first day at work? Sweaty palms, fear of saying something stupid, the feeling that everyone around knows something you don't. This is normal. Your first job isn't just a line on a resume. It's a rite of passage, which anthropologists compare to coming-of-age rituals in traditional cultures: yesterday you were a student—today you're an "adult" from whom results are expected.
Psychologist Erik Erikson in his theory of psychosocial development identified the period of 20–40 years as a time when a person tackles key tasks: building close relationships and productivity—the feeling that you're creating something valuable. Work becomes the arena where this productivity is tested daily.
And here, failures are inevitable. The first missed deadline, the first dressing-down from the boss, the first client who left dissatisfied. Painful? Yes. Useful? Also yes. Researcher Carol Dweck from Stanford calls this a "growth mindset": people who perceive failures as feedback rather than a verdict develop faster and achieve more. Scars from early failures turn into armor.
But learning from your own mistakes is a long road. Shorter—learning from others'. This is where mentors come in. A 2024 study among developers showed: role models are perceived not just as sources of technical knowledge, but as bearers of values—professional ethics, problem-solving style, attitude toward failure. And data from Sun Microsystems demonstrates: employees with mentors get promoted 5 times more often than those who develop alone.
Gradually, through trial and error, experience accumulates—and with it comes confidence. Psychologist Albert Bandura called this self-efficacy: the belief that you can handle a task. It's built not on affirmations in front of a mirror, but on real achievements. Every closed project, every bug fixed, every "thank you" from a colleague—a brick in the foundation of professional confidence.
The first years of a career are a forge. Hot, hard, sometimes painful. But this is where character is tempered.
3. Financial Responsibility and Its Weight
Money isn't just paper or numbers in an account. It's security. Freedom. The ability to say "no." Or the inability.
In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, security stands second—right after food and water. And in the modern world, it's work that provides this security. A stable income means a roof over your head, the ability to get treatment, to plan for the future. It's no wonder that losing a job triggers an almost animal fear—it's a blow to basic needs.
But even with a job, financial pressure doesn't disappear. Research from the Financial University under the Government of the Russian Federation showed: nearly 70% of Russians regularly experience anxiety about their financial situation. And data from the APA (American Psychological Association) indicates: money is the main source of stress for Americans year after year. Financial anxiety knows no borders.
This anxiety changes behavior. People postpone important purchases, fear taking loans, endlessly compare prices. According to Banki.ru data, more than 40% of people under the influence of financial worries refuse major purchases—even when they objectively can afford them. The fear "what if something happens" becomes a constant background.
Worse yet: the need to earn affects the very choice of profession. How many people gave up their dream of becoming an artist, musician, teacher—because "you can't make a living at that"? The phenomenon of golden handcuffs describes the trap: a salary so high that leaving is impossible, even if the job is destroying you. Mortgage, car loan, children's expenses—and now a person is a hostage to their own income.
And behind the facade of stability often hides quiet panic. Research shows: even financially well-off people experience anxiety—fear of inflation, economic crisis, job loss. We live in a world where "stability" is a conditional concept. And the subconscious knows this.
Work gives money. Money gives security. But the price of this security is constant tension that we've learned not to notice.
4. Relationships in the Shadow of Ambition
"I'm doing this for my family"—a phrase millions of people say, returning home at nine in the evening. The irony is that the family is already asleep by then.
Career and personal life are in a constant tug-of-war. And the statistics are merciless: research shows that in some high-paying industries, divorce rates are 30–40% above average. Successful female executives are 32% more likely to remain single or divorce compared to men in similar positions. The price of ambition—not just time, but relationships.
Work stress knows no boundaries. It doesn't stay in the office—it rides home with us, sits at dinner, lies in bed. Psychologists call this "spillover": negative emotions from work "spill over" into family. You snap at loved ones not because they're at fault, but because your boss ruined your day. Research confirms: chronic work stress reduces communication quality with a partner, decreases emotional availability, and even affects intimate life.
And there's also the paradox of busyness: we work to provide for our family—but in doing so, we're absent from that family's life. Children grow up while we're in meetings. Partners drift away while we answer "urgent" emails. In Japan, there's even a term retired husband syndrome: when a person spent their whole life at work, and upon retirement discovers they're a stranger in their own home.
Work also changes our friendships. On one hand, colleagues often become friends—we spend more time with them than with anyone. Gallup found: having a close friend at work significantly increases engagement and satisfaction. On the other hand—old friends, not connected by work, gradually move to the periphery. "Haven't seen you in a while, we should meet"—correspondence that lasts years and leads nowhere.
Romantic relationships also come under pressure from professional identity. We choose partners matching our status. We argue over career decisions. We compete—sometimes with each other. Career weaves into love like ivy—beautiful, but suffocating.
5. The Body Keeps Score: Impact on Health
This section's title is a reference to psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk's book The Body Keeps the Score. And it's true: everything we experience at work is recorded in the body.
The UN called work stress the plague of the 21st century. Not a metaphor—a diagnosis. In 2019, the WHO officially included burnout in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11). An hh.ru study showed: 47% of Russian workers rate their stress level as high or very high. And RBC data is even harsher: 45% of Russians have already experienced burnout.
Yet the culture of "tough it out and don't complain" hasn't gone away. Admitting you can't cope is shameful. Asking for help is weakness. Taking sick leave due to stress is unthinkable. We heroically burn out at work until the body presents the bill.
And the bill arrives. Research shows: 56% of workers complain of chronic stress, 52%—back pain, 47%—constant fatigue. Sedentary work is a separate epidemic. The phrase sitting is the new smoking sounds like hyperbole, but research confirms: lack of physical activity is the fourth most significant mortality risk factor in the world.
A separate topic—the connection between work and depression. A meta-analysis of studies showed: job loss increases depression risk by 2–3 times. For many people, being fired isn't just a loss of income, but an identity collapse. "I was a manager, and now I'm nobody."
And finally, workaholism—the only addiction it's acceptable to be proud of. "I work 80 hours a week" is said with the same intonation as "I ran a marathon." But research links workaholism to anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and relationship destruction. This isn't a virtue—it's a disease that society refuses to recognize.
6. Midlife Crisis: Success, Regret, and Reassessment
You've climbed the career ladder for ten, fifteen, twenty years. And now you're at the top—or close to it. Position, salary, respect. Everything you dreamed of at twenty-five. And suddenly—a strange feeling: "Is this it?"
This isn't caprice or ingratitude. It's a midlife crisis—a term coined by psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques in 1965. Research confirms: life satisfaction follows a U-shaped curve—drops around 40–50 years and rises again after. Economist David Blanchflower analyzed data from 132 countries and found this pattern everywhere—from Albania to Zimbabwe. Midlife crisis isn't a Western luxury—it's a universal human experience.
Psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar calls this the "arrival fallacy": the belief that achieving a goal will bring happiness. We get a promotion—and within a week we're used to it. We buy our dream apartment—and within a month we only notice the flaws. Hedonic adaptation returns us to our baseline happiness level, no matter how much we achieve.
And then—regrets. Palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware interviewed hundreds of dying people and recorded their main regrets. Second most frequent: "I wish I hadn't worked so hard." Not "I wish I'd earned more"—but "I wish I hadn't missed life."
But crisis isn't a sentence. It's an invitation. Research shows: people who decide on career changes after forty often find greater satisfaction than those who stay put out of fear. Some move into consulting, some open a bakery, some become teachers. This isn't running from success—it's redefining success on your own terms.
MIT professor Kieran Setiya, author of Midlife, advises: don't chase terminal goals (getting a position), but focus on process goals (developing, helping, creating). Not "achieve and rest," but "live fully right now."
7. The New Landscape: Modern Challenges
The rules have changed. What worked for our parents—getting a job at a good company, working thirty years, getting a pension—no longer exists. Welcome to the new reality.
Remote work—the pandemic's main experiment—has become the norm for millions. But along with freedom came blurred boundaries. A University of Zurich study showed: when home becomes the office, "turning off" work is nearly impossible. The workday stretches, notifications pursue you on weekends, and the identity of "employee" mixes with the identity of "person at home." Colleagues become squares on a screen, and the sense of belonging to a team evaporates.
"Career for life"—a concept from the last century. Today, the average tenure at one place in the U.S. is about 4 years. Economic crises, layoffs, company bankruptcies—all this has made stability an illusion. In its place came the gig economy: according to Upwork data, more than 40% of Americans did freelance work in 2022. Freedom? Yes. But also constant uncertainty—where's the next project, will payment be on time, what about retirement and insurance?
And then—a new generation that refuses to play by the old rules. Generation Z and young millennials increasingly practice quiet quitting—doing exactly what the contract requires, nothing more. Not sabotage—simply a refusal of the cult of overwork. Gallup polls show: about 50% of American workers can be classified as "quiet quitters." They don't hate work—they just don't want it to define their lives.
The world of work is changing faster than we can adapt. And the main question now isn't "how to build a career?" but "what place should work occupy in life?"
Conclusion: Beyond the Job Title
So, who are you—without a business card?
This question can trigger panic. Or become the beginning of liberation.
Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived the concentration camps, wrote in his book Man's Search for Meaning: meaning in life cannot be found only in work—it's born in relationships, creativity, and attitude toward inevitable suffering. The Japanese concept of ikigai teaches the same: true purpose lies at the intersection of what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, and what you get paid for. Work is just one quarter of the equation.
Career can be part of life—important, engaging, meaningful. But not its center. Not the only source of identity. Not the measure of human worth.
Build yourself beyond your position: through friendships not connected to "useful contacts"; through hobbies that aren't monetized; through silence where you don't need to prove productivity. Allow yourself to be a parent, a friend, a traveler, a person who simply watches the sunset—without a goal.
Because at the end of life, it's unlikely anyone will say: "I wish I'd spent more time in the office." But many will say: "I wish I'd lived."
Be more than your profession. You deserve it.
This content originally appeared on DEV Community and was authored by Mikhail Dorokhovich
Mikhail Dorokhovich | Sciencx (2025-12-02T02:13:13+00:00) How Career Shapes a Person. Retrieved from https://www.scien.cx/2025/12/02/how-career-shapes-a-person/
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