Mastering Jenkins: From Pipeline Rookie to DevOps Hero 🎭

pipeline {
    agent any

    stages {
        stage('Hello World') {
            steps {
                echo 'Welcome to Jenkins, brave soul!'
                script {
                    def courage = "maximum"
                    echo "Setting courage level to: ${courage}"
                }
            }
        }
    }
}

# Docker way (for the wise)
docker run -p 8080:8080 -p 50000:50000 jenkins/jenkins:lts

# Traditional way (for the brave)
sudo apt update
sudo apt install openjdk-11-jdk
wget -q -O - https://pkg.jenkins.io/debian/jenkins.io.key | sudo apt-key add -
sudo sh -c 'echo deb https://pkg.jenkins.io/debian binary/ > /etc/apt/sources.list.d/jenkins.list'
sudo apt update && sudo apt install jenkins

pipeline {
    agent any

    environment {
        DOCKER_IMAGE = "myapp:${env.BUILD_NUMBER}"
        DEPLOY_ENV = "staging"
    }

    stages {
        stage('Checkout') {
            steps {
                git branch: 'main', url: 'https://github.com/yourcompany/awesome-app.git'
            }
        }

        stage('Build & Test') {
            parallel {
                stage('Build') {
                    steps {
                        sh 'mvn clean compile'
                        echo "Build completed! Bob is happy! 😊"
                    }
                }
                stage('Unit Tests') {
                    steps {
                        sh 'mvn test'
                        publishTestResults testResultsPattern: 'target/test-reports/*.xml'
                    }
                    post {
                        always {
                            echo "Terry finished testing (with varying degrees of success)"
                        }
                    }
                }
                stage('Security Scan') {
                    steps {
                        sh 'mvn dependency-check:check'
                        echo "Security scan complete - no known vulnerabilities found! 🔒"
                    }
                }
            }
        }
    }
}

pipeline {
    agent any

    environment {
        DOCKER_REGISTRY = "your-registry.com"
        APP_NAME = "awesome-app"
        STAGING_SERVER = "staging.awesome-app.com"
        PRODUCTION_SERVER = "awesome-app.com"
    }

    stages {
        stage('Preparation') {
            steps {
                cleanWs()
                git branch: '${BRANCH_NAME}', url: 'https://github.com/yourcompany/awesome-app.git'
                script {
                    env.BUILD_VERSION = "${env.BUILD_NUMBER}-${env.GIT_COMMIT.take(7)}"
                }
            }
        }

        stage('Build & Quality Gates') {
            parallel {
                stage('Application Build') {
                    steps {
                        sh 'mvn clean package -DskipTests'
                        archiveArtifacts artifacts: 'target/*.jar', fingerprint: true
                    }
                }
                stage('Code Quality') {
                    steps {
                        sh 'mvn sonar:sonar'
                        echo "SonarQube analysis complete - code quality checked! ✨"
                    }
                }
                stage('Dependency Audit') {
                    steps {
                        sh 'mvn dependency-check:check'
                        publishHTML([
                            allowMissing: false,
                            alwaysLinkToLastBuild: true,
                            keepAll: true,
                            reportDir: 'target',
                            reportFiles: 'dependency-check-report.html',
                            reportName: 'Dependency Check Report'
                        ])
                    }
                }
            }
        }

        stage('Testing Symphony') {
            parallel {
                stage('Unit Tests') {
                    steps {
                        sh 'mvn test'
                        publishTestResults testResultsPattern: 'target/test-reports/*.xml'
                    }
                }
                stage('Integration Tests') {
                    steps {
                        sh 'mvn integration-test'
                        echo "Integration tests passed - components are playing nice! 🤝"
                    }
                }
                stage('API Tests') {
                    steps {
                        sh 'npm install && npm run api-tests'
                        publishTestResults testResultsPattern: 'api-test-results.xml'
                    }
                }
            }
        }

        stage('Containerization') {
            steps {
                script {
                    def image = docker.build("${env.DOCKER_REGISTRY}/${env.APP_NAME}:${env.BUILD_VERSION}")
                    docker.withRegistry("https://${env.DOCKER_REGISTRY}", 'docker-registry-credentials') {
                        image.push()
                        image.push("latest")
                    }
                    echo "Docker image pushed successfully! 🐳"
                }
            }
        }

        stage('Deploy to Staging') {
            steps {
                script {
                    sshagent(['staging-server-key']) {
                        sh """
                            ssh deploy@${env.STAGING_SERVER} '
                                docker pull ${env.DOCKER_REGISTRY}/${env.APP_NAME}:${env.BUILD_VERSION}
                                docker stop ${env.APP_NAME} || true
                                docker rm ${env.APP_NAME} || true
                                docker run -d --name ${env.APP_NAME} -p 80:8080 ${env.DOCKER_REGISTRY}/${env.APP_NAME}:${env.BUILD_VERSION}
                            '
                        """
                    }
                }
                echo "Staging deployment complete! Time for smoke tests! 💨"
            }
        }

        stage('Smoke Tests') {
            steps {
                script {
                    sh "curl -f http://${env.STAGING_SERVER}/health || exit 1"
                    echo "Smoke tests passed - the staging environment is breathing! 🌬️"
                }
            }
        }

        stage('Production Deployment') {
            when {
                branch 'main'
            }
            input {
                message "Deploy to production?"
                ok "Deploy"
                parameters {
                    choice(name: 'DEPLOY_STRATEGY', choices: ['blue-green', 'rolling'], description: 'Deployment Strategy')
                }
            }
            steps {
                script {
                    if (params.DEPLOY_STRATEGY == 'blue-green') {
                        echo "Executing blue-green deployment - like magic, but with more servers! 🎩✨"
                        // Blue-green deployment logic here
                    } else {
                        echo "Executing rolling deployment - smooth as butter! 🧈"
                        // Rolling deployment logic here
                    }
                }
            }
        }
    }

    post {
        always {
            cleanWs()
        }
        success {
            slackSend channel: '#deployments', 
                     color: 'good', 
                     message: "✅ ${env.APP_NAME} v${env.BUILD_VERSION} deployed successfully!"
        }
        failure {
            slackSend channel: '#deployments', 
                     color: 'danger', 
                     message: "💥 ${env.APP_NAME} deployment failed! All hands on deck!"
        }
    }
}