This content originally appeared on Level Up Coding - Medium and was authored by James Cullimore
I’m a developer. I’m also a husband, father of 2 active boys, a freelance developer, a speaker, a writer, a coach, take part in MMA, play rugby, developed my own game and on a very very very odd occasion still a gamer. Most days I manage to keep all those things afloat. Other days… not so much. But the balance is never fixed. You’re always adjusting.
I’ve always been decent at time management, but that alone was never enough. My problem? I’m greedy with my time. I want to do too much, too often, and all at once. It’s taken me years to learn how to pace myself without falling apart. And even now, I’m still learning.
When I was younger, I gamed heavily. From the age of 3 until my mid-20s, I found time to play even when I had school, a job, and even a kid. I somehow fit it in. And I assumed I always would. But something changed, not because I had more time, but because my mindset shifted. I started setting goals that meant more to me than gaming.
That’s when I first found myself drawn toward development and the Android community. At first, I still tried to juggle it all, coding late into the night, gaming until 4 AM, waking up at 7, but eventually, one thing phased out. And it wasn’t the code.
The Shift From Gamer to Developer
Even when I started taking Android seriously, I still tried to keep up with gaming. I’d be working on open source projects until late, then gaming until 4 in the morning, and back up at 7 to start the day again. That routine lasted longer than I care to admit. But eventually, the late-night gaming just phased out. I started to fall out of love with the modern gaming scene, and I had bigger goals on my plate.
One of the first major turning points was when I built my first public app: Streaming Yorkie. It was meant to help automate certain things for Twitch streamers, features I felt were missing from the platform at the time. I built it mostly for myself, but once I put it out there, it became something more. It gave me a taste of solving real problems, building useful tools, and sharing them. Even though the code was, quite frankly, terrible, Streaming Yorkie helped me land my first Android job.
At the same time, I started helping out on Stack Overflow. A lot of it was done during my commute, 4 hours a day on a train for almost three years. That sounds painful, but honestly, it was some of the most productive time I’ve ever had. It gave me clarity about what I could actually achieve with limited time and no distractions. I wasn’t gaming on those trains, I was building, writing, learning, and getting involved.
Structure, Goals, and… Manifestation?
At some point early on, my wife introduced me to the idea of manifestation. I’ll be honest, I was skeptical. I’m more of a logic-first kind of person, and this sounded like a load of bollocks to me. But then I saw a video of Jim Carrey talking about writing himself a ten-million-dollar check and how it eventually came true. That hit me. Not because I wanted millions (also not saying I don’t want millions), but because I understood what he meant, set the vision, make it real, then chase it.
So I gave it a shot. But I didn’t stop at wishing and hoping. I combined it with something more structured, OKRs (Objectives and Key Results). That helped ground it. I’d define a goal, figure out the key results that would get me there, and track my progress over time. The goal could be something like “Get hired as an Android dev,” and the key results would be “Build and ship a public app,” or “Contribute to open source weekly for 3 months.”
That structure really started to work for me. It gave me something to anchor my time around. I wasn’t just coding for the sake of it anymore, I had direction. And the mindset shift became real.
Each passing year, I started hitting over 90% of my goals. Some of these were things I’d thought were impossible just a few years earlier. And every time I hit a new goal, it opened the door to something else, my first Android job, my first freelance gig, my first Droidcon talk.
The Balance Is Always Shifting
Going freelance gave me freedom, but also a new set of problems. When you’re full-time, the work finds you. When you’re freelance, you’re constantly hunting. That’s something I didn’t fully understand at first.
My first freelance opportunity came through a former boss who had started her own company. She asked if I wanted to help out on a project, and I said yes, no hesitation. I was still working full-time then, so it meant evenings and weekends. A few months later, I had switched jobs, and I found myself talking to a company that was keen to hire me. That’s when my wife gave me an idea: why not offer them a freelance contract instead of joining full-time?
I pitched it and they said yes.
One project led to another. Each one mostly fit into evenings and weekends, still stacked on top of my full-time role. But by the time the third contract came around, I knew I had to choose. So I made the jump. Full-time freelance.
It felt like the right move and it was. But no one tells you how fragile it can be. When a contract ends and there’s no next one lined up, you have no income. You realize how much soft skills matter, sales, communication, portfolio building, networking. That stuff doesn’t come naturally to most devs. It didn’t for me either. But you learn.
And yes, attending conferences like Droidcon helped. But even more helpful? Getting out of my comfort zone and speaking at them. That’s where I started to build real relationships, improve my communication, and grow the kind of network that leads to actual opportunities.
My time management became even more intense. Still is. But somehow, I’ve managed to stay effective without damaging the relationships that matter, my wife, my kids, my family, and close friends. It’s a constant balance. Weekends are mostly off-limits for work (though occasionally I sneak in an hour or two if absolutely needed). The rest of the time, I try to be present. That’s the goal.
Don’t Break What You’re Building
I’ve struggled more times than I’d like to admit.
It always started the same way: I’d pile too much on my plate, freelance work in the evenings, full-time contracts during the day, writing, helping on Stack Overflow, open source, conference talks, side projects. And before I knew it, I was running on fumes. I’d get physically sick. I couldn’t sleep. My head felt like it was constantly spinning. Classic signs I ignored for way too long.
Eventually, I had to adapt. The first time it hit hard, I cut back on evening work. I hadn’t realised how little time I was spending with my family or with myself. I had no hobbies outside of code anymore. So I scaled things back and started reclaiming some balance.
Then came another wave, this time triggered by my overloaded calendar. It looked impressive, but it felt suffocating. It was colour-coded chaos. That’s when I shifted my mindset again. I cleared the calendar out as much as I could, simplified my routines, and focused on creating healthy habits instead of rigid reminders.
Now, I keep a priority list. If I get something done, great. If I don’t? No worries. I’ll do it when I can, if I even can. I stopped letting my calendar dictate my anxiety levels.
I also leaned hard into note-taking. Without my notes and my calendar, I’m completely lost. I take notes of everything, seriously, concepts I want to research, posts I want to write, projects I’m working on is just the start. My system needs to be fast and accessible, so I use Google Keep. I can jot things down in seconds and come back to them later. I highly recommend building your own system, whatever works for you. The brain can only hold so much.
Through all of this, my wife has been an incredible support. Whenever I was close to breaking, she was the one pulling me back. That’s the kind of support I try to offer others now. Not every dev has someone to lean on, and that’s part of what pushes me to speak, to write, to contribute, even when I don’t feel like I belong in the spotlight.
Because here’s the truth: most of this wasn’t natural to me. Had you asked my wife three years ago if I’d ever speak publicly, she would’ve laughed and said I barely talk as it is. And she wouldn’t have been wrong.
After I give a talk, I usually go quiet for a week or two. It absolutely drains me. But it’s worth it if it helps someone else avoid the same spiral.
Contributing, Your Way
I started contributing because I was and still am, grateful. Grateful for open source, for Stack Overflow, for the blog posts that got me unstuck at 2 AM. Giving back just felt like the natural next step.
My first real contribution was open source, and honestly, it’s still one of my favourite ways to learn. You get hands-on experience with frameworks, patterns, architecture, real-world stuff you can’t always get from tutorials. If you’ve got a side project in mind, open sourcing it can kill two birds with one stone: you learn and you build a portfolio at the same time.
Stack Overflow came next. I made it a bit of a mission to help out there, because it had already helped me so much. It still does. Whenever I hit a weird bug or some obscure API behaviour, chances are someone else has already asked about it and someone smarter than me has answered. Helping others troubleshoot was another way of learning. You start understanding not just what works, but why.
Then I got into writing. I didn’t plan on becoming a “tech writer.” I just started sharing things I was working on, bugs I fixed, patterns I liked, deep dives I needed for myself. I quickly realised writing helped me solidify my own learning. The more I tried to explain something clearly, the deeper I had to go to truly understand it.
Most of what I write now comes straight from my day-to-day. Sometimes it’s a topic I want to explore, so I write to learn. Other times it’s a challenge I just solved at work, and I want to share the process in case it helps someone else.
If writing is your thing, great. If it’s not, that’s fine too. Contribution doesn’t have to look like articles or repos. It can be:
- Helping a teammate understand a problem
- Posting helpful comments in a dev Slack or Discord
- Pairing with a junior dev
- Answering a single Stack Overflow question
- Giving feedback on a library you use
- Simply being present at a conference or meetup
If you want to go further, write, speak, record videos, run workshops, just make sure you’ve got a strong why. That reason is what will carry you through the late nights and slow weeks when it feels like no one’s paying attention.
Also: find your writing style. Use tools to refine your work, not to write it for you. Let it sound like you. And please, whatever you do, don’t outsource the code examples. Write the code yourself. You’ll only grow by doing.
And no, you don’t have to contribute as much or as fast as anyone else. Just make sure your health and relationships don’t suffer. That’s the real long game. If something has to give, let it be the side project, not your partner, not your sleep, and not your sanity.
Health Isn’t Optional
None of this would work without sport. Full stop.
Without the physical side of my routine, I wouldn’t have the energy for everything else. When people ask how I manage my time, this is one part they often overlook, your body fuels your mind. It keeps you stable, focused, and resilient when things get intense.
Every week, I train MMA for 2.5 hours on Friday evenings. Wednesdays are reserved for rugby practice with my kids, I’m always there, watching them, helping them grow. I even started playing rugby again myself on those same evenings. Some mornings, I squeeze in a spinning session or some calisthenics. It’s not always intense, but it’s consistent. It keeps me grounded.
This isn’t about chasing fitness goals. It’s about mental health, stamina, and showing up for the people who matter.
Weekends are sacred. I try not to work, though I’ll admit, every now and then I’ll sneak in a few hours if something really needs attention. But most of that time is for my wife and kids. We built a house last year, and while my wife managed most of it (bless her), I stayed as involved as I could. It was chaotic, but we made it work together.
On average, I get ~4 evenings a week with my wife. I work ~3 evenings now, depending on the week. It used to be more, but I’ve dialed it back intentionally. Those work evenings can include freelance gigs, open source, article writing, Stack Overflow, LinkedIn posts, or side projects, whatever’s active at the time.
And I’ll be real: I do enjoy a good whisky-cola in the evenings. There was a phase where I’d have one or two almost every night. But I’ve learned to rein it in. We all need balance, and we all need willpower. Without it, you’ll slowly drift away from your goals without noticing.
Discipline is what lets me say yes to the right things and no to the noise. It’s not about being strict, it’s about being intentional. Because every ‘yes’ is also a ‘no’ to something else.
Freelancing Isn’t Just Development
I didn’t plan to go full-time freelance. It started out simple enough: my boss at the time started her own company and asked if I could freelance for her. I said yes. It took longer to kick off than expected, and in the meantime I’d already switched jobs again. That’s when I found a company where we both really wanted to work together and my wife suggested something I hadn’t thought of: offer them a freelance contract instead. That was my first real freelance gig.
At first, freelancing just filled my evenings. I’d work my full-time job during the day, then jump into client work at night. That continued through a second project, and by the third I realised it was time: I was ready to take the leap and do it full time.
Going freelance gave me freedom. It gave me the chance to attend conferences without asking permission, to speak on my own terms, and to invest in my personal growth. My first Droidcon changed everything. Best decision I ever made.
But it also came with realities no one really talks about.
Freelancing full-time isn’t just coding 40 hours a week. You need to keep your portfolio up to date, constantly network, stay visible, find the next client before the current one ends, negotiate rates, pitch your value, and then do all the bookkeeping and legal admin on top. That admin alone can eat a day a week if you’re not careful.
In Germany, you also have to watch out for things like Scheinselbstständigkeit (false self-employment), which adds a layer of legal and financial complexity. Tools like LexOffice help, but you still need to understand how taxes and invoicing work if you want to avoid nasty surprises.
Freelancing taught me more than any single job ever could. I worked on 30+ projects. I met devs who were ten steps ahead of me. I learned how other teams think, how businesses run, and how to adjust quickly. Most of my career growth came through freelance, both from the technical side and from the uncomfortable soft skills that make or break a contract: communication, negotiation, writing, speaking, and just being reliable.
Here’s what I tell people who want to make the jump:
- Start small. Take on a bit of work in the evenings. If that goes well, try moving your full-time job to 80% and use the other 20% to freelance.
- Don’t go full-time without a network. It’s not just risky, it’s almost guaranteed to fail.
- Understand that freelancing is a business. You’re not just a developer now. You’re a salesperson, marketer, project manager, and accountant.
It sounds like a lot because it is. But if you’re prepared, and you build towards it gradually, it can absolutely work.
Evaluate, Adjust, Move Forward
Even though I struggled more often than I’d like to admit, over the past five or six years, I’ve learned how to spot the signs, overloaded calendar, creeping anxiety, snapping at the people around me, struggling to sleep and when they show up, I know it’s time to adapt. I’ve been through it enough now to know I can’t just push through it.
The first time it hit, it was from working almost every evening. So I cut back. I made family time and rest a priority. The next time, it was from simply trying to do too much. I took a year-long break from most evening work, no articles, no posts, just recovery. Then it was my calendar itself that became the problem. It was overflowing. So I stripped it down and replaced most of the time blocks with healthy habits and a priority list. Now, if something gets done, great. If not, no stress, whenever I can, if I even can.
Every year, I look back at the goals I set. Did I hit them? Were they even still goals I cared about? I don’t hold onto them just because they were written down. If they don’t fit anymore, I drop them or change them. Sometimes I realise, “That’s not what I want anymore.” I give each goal a timeline, break it into smaller steps, and plot it into my calendar. That’s how I stay on track without feeling trapped.
One of my goals was to release a game by 2025. I achieved that last year. Another was to write 12 articles in a year. Some years I do, others I don’t. It doesn’t matter as long as the intention stays clear and it doesn’t damage my health or relationships.
Some of the best advice I can give to any dev chasing growth: take notes. I write down nearly everything (I’ve a head like a sieve). Ideas, bugs, patterns, feedback, things I want to write about or research, I keep it all. Without my notes and my calendar system, I’d be lost. I recommend tools like Google Keep. Build a workflow that works for you.
This entire process, contribute, struggle, adjust, repeat, isn’t linear. It’s cyclical. You’ll overdo it. You’ll correct it. You’ll try again. And with each loop, you learn what’s worth keeping and what needs to change.
“You don’t need to do it all. Just do what you can, with purpose, and protect your happiness along the way.”
That’s really the core of it. Whether you’re contributing code, sharing knowledge, or just being present for your team, you’re adding value. But none of it matters if you lose yourself, your health, or your people in the process.
Make space to enjoy what you’ve built. Check in with yourself. Reflect, revise, move forward.
Contribute, Struggle, Adjust, Repeat: Finding Work-Life Balance as a Dev was originally published in Level Up Coding on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
This content originally appeared on Level Up Coding - Medium and was authored by James Cullimore
James Cullimore | Sciencx (2025-07-25T14:18:35+00:00) Contribute, Struggle, Adjust, Repeat: Finding Work-Life Balance as a Dev. Retrieved from https://www.scien.cx/2025/07/25/contribute-struggle-adjust-repeat-finding-work-life-balance-as-a-dev/
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